Dark Secrets
by starvani
Summary: Supreme Leader Kylo Ren believes he has everything he always wanted: the First Order leadership and the girl, not to mention the Resistance is hardly standing. However, he senses a rising conflict in his new partner. Will Rey keep her darkest secrets to herself and find a way to bring the First Order down without losing Kylo? Reylo, M rating. Cover by heidihastings (deviantart)
1. Chapter 1

"Go back to sleep," he said.

But she couldn't. Her thoughts could have easily kept her awake the entire night if it wasn't for the hot bantha milk she asked to be delivered at Kylo's chambers.

Everything had changed so fast. She conveniently took Kylo's offer to rule the galaxy, on the condition he wouldn't try to form an empire for himself. He agreed, but she had the unpleasant feeling he did it just to keep her by his side. With the Resistance struggling to keep up with the fight, she needed to take advantage of Kylo's current position at the First Order.

She was constantly thinking about the Resistance—about Finn, Chewie, Leia, everyone she met there. She couldn't help but see them as the family she never had. She also had constant thoughts of running away to meet them, such thoughts were bothering her that night.

It was just mere luck Kylo didn't sense her feelings at that moment, he was tired and didn't even bother to face her when he was awaken by some droid at the door delivering hot bantha milk.

Kylo knew she had trouble sleeping, she always did. Sometimes they were nightmares and he knew what they were about—her friends at the Resistance and her past. It was always the same story so it didn't surprise him anymore she was awake at this hour.

He wanted her. From the moment he fought her in the middle of the woods and saw how strong she was with the Force yet untrained. Somehow, he felt a direct connection to Rey after that encounter, he just didn't know how strong that connection was until they both discovered they could communicate through the Force.

He had let down his guard, Kylo still didn't know if he regretted that or not. He allowed her to see the real, conflicted boy—no, man—conflicted man he was. And so, his feelings for her intensified. It wasn't just curiosity now, he wanted to get to know her and be her master, teach her everything he knew about the Force. Even a strong, burning desire for her had developed, and he knew she longed for him too.

He would have never imagined Rey would accept his hand and give herself to his teachings—it was a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one, even though he was still conflicted between the Light and the Dark Side.

A sudden deafening noise made Rey come back from her dreams. The room was still dark, but the noise that woke her up hinted it must be past midday at the _Supremacy II_. Kylo was gone already. She kicked the black silk sheets away and peeked through the enormous glass that gave Kylo's chambers a magnificent view to the main hangar. She saw hundreds of droids and troopers, some of them were running towards a spot just beneath the window she was staring from. Something had caused a small yet noisy explosion.

A small LEP droid suddenly burst into the room. It was one of Kylo's personal droids, now programmed to serve The Supreme Leader's apprentice. She sat on the bed while accommodating her nightdress.

"My lady, you've slept more than usual today. The Supreme Leader will be waiting for you."

"I will join him as soon as I eat something," she said—watching more LEP units enter the room with her breakfast, others attending the bed and scattered clothing.

"I would advice you to do it quickly," the droid continued. "He isn't having a great day so far."

* * *

"Well look who decided to join the living Force today!"

"I was told you were not having a great day," she said between giggles.

"Who told you that?" He turned off his lightsaber and signaled the training droids to stand down so she could enter the room.

"One of your LEP units," she took her lightsaber from her belt and ignited it.

"Some idiot droid at the hangar.." he started to explain. "Wait, you won't be needing that today." He turned the blue lightsaber off by moving two fingers. "I'm starting to get more concerned with your inability to ease your mind at night."

She looked down in shame. "You didn't look so concerned yesterday," she defied.

He held his gaze, saying nothing for a few seconds. "Sit here," he instructed.

Rey doubted for a second, she didn't want him to see inside her. "I'm sure I can meditate on this by my own."

"If you don't allow me to help you, I swear I will find a new bed to sleep on." He tried to sound playful, but she noticed there was anger in his voice. He was certainly anxious to get inside her mind.

She doubted again, but decided to put no resistance. She could always try to hide certain thoughts to him, the real problem was doing it without Kylo noticing.

He sat in front of her, took off his gloves and Rey's as well. He held one of her hands and stopped to think for half a minute before reaching out. What would he find? He knew Rey was keeping things from him, things that he was better off without knowing, probably—but the conflict inside her mind was getting worse and he couldn't help but wonder what she could be hiding deep inside her. He needed to know.

He reached out, Rey shuddered at the unpleasant feeling. Kylo saw himself through her memories, his parents were there too—he stopped at that particular memory. He saw from Rey's perspective how Han Solo's life was ended by him—she was so devastated and furious. She gave him a little hand squeeze to encourage him to move on, she could sense a rather uneasy feeling growing in the body sitting near her.

He proceeded, searching for any memory that had provoked strong emotions in her. He saw that stormtrooper from the FN Corps—oh, how he hated that man—telling Rey he couldn't stay and fight for the Resistance. A deep sadness had inundated her body when that happened and Kylo couldn't help but feel more hatred towards that man she called her friend.

Rey was starting to feel more uncomfortable as Kylo passed through memories that involved the people she met at the Resistance. Specially when she saw Leia appear in one of them and sensed how Kylo struggled to control his emotions. It wouldn't be long until he found what he wanted—how she was so conflicted by him yet still loyal to the Resistance and her friends. She started to slightly resist him, hoping it wasn't too obvious.

Kylo continued, knowing the answer to his question had to involve the Resistance. He was watching Rey introduce herself to his mother, Leia, when he was abruptly sucked into a different memory. He saw himself again at Ahch-To, touching hands for the first time with Rey.

"Stop it," he muttered, knowing she had blocked him from the previous memory.

The memory changed again, only this one was more intimate. He saw his face breaking the space between Rey's. He sensed how hungry Rey had felt as she was desperately trying to take off his clothing. This memory was from weeks ago, when they had slept together for the first time.

"Stop," he muttered again. He knew she was conveniently showing this to him.

But Rey wouldn't stop, he had discovered her dumb try at blocking him. If she had any chance of staying with him after she brought down the First Order, she could not allow the fear of betrayal cloud Kylo's mind.

The memory was so vivid Kylo felt every rush of energy that traveled through Rey's body. He knew what she was doing, but he was so pleased with Rey's point of view during this memory that he didn't insist on stopping her. He heard himself groan as Rey pulled his black hair and kissed his collarbone—he sensed the rising pleasure in her.

Rey opened her eyes as soon as he was no longer invading her mind. She waited for his reaction, hoping she had managed to distract him with such explicit memory.

"Cheat move," he said unimpressed. "I won't be getting a new bed, for now..."

"I bet it's the silk sheets," she joked.

"It's you."

She smiled and proceeded to stand up, grabbing her lightsaber to train direct combat as they had originally planed that day. Kylo would not let this go so easily, there was something she was trying so hard to hide from him. She would not tell him, but he will find out.

Oh yes, he will.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"It's noth—" but she couldn't finish. A sudden pain struck on her left lower flank.

They kept training for a few hours after Kylo looked inside her mind. Her thoughts clouded her though, and she didn't see Kylo's saber coming for her. She could have easily blocked the attack, but she was distracted and barely had any time to make a desperate move to the right. She thankfully dodged most of the saber, the wound was superficial and didn't compromise any organs.

Kylo saw her on the floor and the smell of burnt flesh made him panic. He ran to the corridor and _demanded_ a medical droid. However, the training droids were still on. "Ben! The droids!" she screamed just in time for him to turn and use the Force to smash them all against the wall.

"It will leave a scar," he lowered his gaze and inspected her wound.

"We are even now," she looked at him—waiting for Kylo to lock his eyes into hers. He gave her a half smile.

"That was different, we were fighting each other for real that time."

"I was fighting you for real this time too!" she laughed, trying to lessen his guilt.

"I wasn't…" he didn't look amused at all.

"Have a little humor, Ben."

She got closer, encouraging him to put his arms around her. He did, and rested his right cheek on her forehead. They were both staring at the hangar—the day was about to end for them but a few troopers and droids would still be working down there.

"In that case—you'll have to do better than that." He felt some air come out of her nostrils, hinting the silent smile on her face.

"You are not great at jokes."

"You know what isn't funny?"

He adjusted the black robe over her shoulders as he felt chills through her skin. She was wearing a beige crop top that was just enough to cover her upper chest—her legs were uncovered for the most part too. They had given her that clothing at the ship's medical facility in order to run a full check up (as The Supreme Leader requested)—the robe was his though.

"You showing me that memory and then failing to stay in one piece during our training session." He let go of their embrace to read her expression.

"First, you are exaggerating—the med-droid said I will be fine in no time. Second, the real unfair thing here is you lurking through my mind."

" _Lurking_!?" He looked offended. "You gave me permission!"

"You've never given me permission to get inside your mind!"

"You've never asked."

"I'm asking right now."

"Not today."

He walked towards the bed. Rey stared as Kylo called for painkillers to be delivered right away to the room.

"Why are you angry now?" she approached him.

"You need to rest."

"Not until you tell me what the hell is bothering you right now."

"You blocked me from your mind and proceeded to show me a very convenient memory. You knew I would get distracted." He was trying to sound calm, but the truth is he was angry at her. "You wanted to train direct combat? Fine, let's do it. Problem is you were so into your own thoughts and failed to block my attack. What the hell is happening to you? You're always so—"

But he couldn't finish, a droid announced his arrival with the requested painkillers. Kylo stepped angrily towards the door. Rey installed herself on the left side of the bed, she was indeed very distracted during the whole day. Kylo sat beside her and gave her a glass of water along with two yellow pills. She swallowed them and they both were in silence for a minute—he was avoiding her gaze.

"You're right, I'm so conflicted right now—" she paused to think for a second, "by the Light."

Partial lie, she was indeed being conflicted by the Dark Side ever since she allowed such passionate feelings to grow inside during her time being with Kylo. The Light was stronger in her though, and Kylo knew it—he thought her ultimate goal was to turn to the Dark Side however, and that's where he was wrong.

He thought her words for a moment—he felt tempted to confess he was conflicted by both sides too. Something didn't quite fit in her answer though, he couldn't sense any obvious Force disturbance within her. The Dark Side would take over her sometimes—but for the most part, he felt the Light in her.

"That's okay," was all he could say. "We'll figure it out." He knew she was lying, but Kylo also knew he would not hear the truth coming out of her mouth. "Rest now, no more training until that heals."

"Stay," she begged him. "At least the painkillers will keep me asleep the whole night, hopefully."

They both chuckled. "It's something," Kylo said as he helped her lay down. He walked towards the other side of the bed and rested his body facing hers.

"Nightmares or not, I'm not going anywhere," he assured her.

The room had been cleaned earlier that day, the sheets and pillows had been changed. They both smelled the sweet scent of mint coming out from the bed. The Supreme Leader himself had requested his sheets to be scented like that ever since he found out how much Rey liked that particular fragrance—hell knows where the droids got it from in the middle of space. Kylo extended one of his arms and—with a simple finger movement—the whole room started to turn dark. She slowly dragged her body across the bed and rested her head on his naked chest. He embraced her, being extremely careful not to touch her wound.

"Goodnight Ben," she said softly.

He was about to correct her (he wanted to be called Kylo), but she planted a quick kiss on his lips before resting her head on his chest again. He embraced her a bit tighter, forcing her to break the space between their lips again. The kiss was longer, he sensed a strong rush of energy travel her body.

He would let it go for tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

"Godspeed, Rebels," she said before launching the _Raddus_ towards the _Supremacy_ and the rest of Snoke's fleet, allowing the last survivors of the Resistance to escape on small transports. The remaining First Order ships were heavily damaged by the impact, leaving them unable to scan the perimeter and read the Rebel transports' course.

Kylo and Rey survived the attack—they took Snoke's personal craft, were they sent an urgent transmission to the nearest First Order convoy. Kylo presented himself as the new Supreme Leader to the _Resurgent_ -class Battlecruiser that received it, which made Rey regret her decision to join him almost immediately. Leia and the rest of the Resistance landed on Crait, a nearby mineral planet with an abandoned Rebel fortress.

Kylo was provided with the _Supremacy II_ (another _Resurgent_ -class Battlecruiser formerly known as _Colossal_ ), which would serve as the new First Order headquarters. By the time Kylo's fleet regrouped, the Rebels had vanished without a trace.

A month had passed—the First Order still relentlessly scanning for any transmission that would give them the Resistance's current position. Kylo and Rey have been together for 3 weeks now, they still have doubts about each other's intentions. Their feelings are starting to cloud their judgement as the relationship grows more intimate and physical.

"General Hux," Kylo contacted the _Finalizer_ , one of his escort ships.

"Supreme Leader—" Hux saluted, "we've stablished multiple blockades as you requested, my lord. Passing ships have been called out for inspection but we've found nothing so far."

Hux and the rest of the personnel in the command bridge awaited an answer. It was no secret the General and the Supreme Leader didn't get along—their motivations clashed very frequently. Hux was constantly going on about Ren's inability to lead the First Order and his lack of military experience—he was sure the Supreme Leader was being deceived by that scavenger girl. He would never lose the opportunity to make Kylo Ren look bad in front of everyone.

The General stood proud and held his gaze towards the Supreme Leader's holographic projection, making an effort to look confident. He didn't agree at all with Kylo Ren's plan. Hux wanted the First Order to occupy every system, every planet and every moon—bring the Resistance to their knees by fire and blood.

Kylo was starting to grow impatient as the days went by and no one had seemed to hear about the whereabouts of his mother and her band of traitors, liars and thieves. Either they were so well hidden or Hux was using everything in his power to sabotage his strategy.

The personnel gasped in horror as the General brought his hands to his neck.

"The Resistance is bleeding, General. They won't come out of their rat hole—they are regrouping, calling out for help, searching for allies as we speak."

"W-w-we'll double our efforts, Supreme Leader," he said—pausing between words. Hux's face was turning purple, the rest of the personnel in the command bridge watching the scene in awe.

"Any further delays will cost us the war," Kylo continued, "–and your life."

* * *

"There she is."

Rey turned at the sound of his voice—she didn't sense his presence as she was immersed in her own thoughts.

"Hey," she closed the book in her hands and walked to his encounter.

He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her figure. Her hair was slightly wet as she had just returned from her bacta session at the ship's medical facility. The wound didn't cause her any pain now—a scar spread from her left hip bone towards her sixth intercostal space on the axillary line.

"I thought you'd be at my quarters."

She sighed—she had been unable to train for a whole week now. She had spent her days in silence, meditating at the library near the common dinning room. It was originally intended for the personnel aboard the _Supremacy II_ —however, it was empty most of the time. It seemed she was the only person who didn't have better things to do than reading old books.

Rey was wearing loose hair and clothing made from ice scrabbler fur—she was given nice expensive coats and dresses when she arrived at the _Supremacy II_. Kylo still counted on the possibility that she would eventually change her mind and agree to rule the First Order by his side. He gave her a closet worthy of an empress, eagerly waiting for the day to make a public appearance as the new owners of the galaxy.

Rey preferred to wear her training clothes (she was given new outfits for that too), but it seemed a bit silly to use them for a quiet evening at the library. The room was spacious—white flooring and tall walls filled with books surrounded some lounge styled couches and coffee tables. She specially loved the view—an enormous window allowed her to see the Jinata system. She was standing in front of the glass before Kylo arrived.

Kylo had just returned from Kaestro—capital city to the planet Vardos. He seeked to end the tumultuous relationship between the vardosians and the First Order by rebuilding their capital city. He met with the leaders of Jinata Security and offered them a renewed alliance. He was pleased with the negotiations—the First Order was now able to occupy their system and use their resources and military technology. The Supreme Leader was wearing a black tunic and cloak embroidered with gold and silver thread—a belt adorned his waist.

"I wanted to be alone."

"Want me to leave?"

"No, stay," she held his hand and guided him to the nearest couch. She hadn't seen him during the whole day—or the day before.

"What were you reading?" he asked as he sat next to her.

She handed the book to him—It was _The New Republic: Restoring the Senate after the Galactic Empire_. He frowned immediately, which made her chuckle.

"I know you don't approve."

"I don't even know why we have this type of books inside this ship," he said contemptuously.

Finding something not related to the First Order was actually hard—the whole library was filled with history books written by supporters of the Galactic Empire or the First Order. Most of it was war propaganda, only a small section included neutral history books—she had read them all already.

"I bet my mother is mentioned on this."

"She is."

Rey had never heard Kylo acknowledge his mother before. As the last Princess of Alderaan, Leia played an important role in the restoration of the Galactic Senate, where she later served as a Senator in Hanna City—where Ben was born.

Rey couldn't help but wonder what was of Ben Solo before Kylo Ren. She felt the conflict inside him—just the mere mention of his mother had made him uneasy.

She was desperate to know about the Resistance. She had found a way to stay informed about the issue, despite Kylo's attempts to keep her away from the command bridge. Kylo had little control over his emotions—anything related to his mother caused chaos inside him. If Leia's whereabouts were known, he wouldn't as calm as he was in that moment—she knew that by now.

"What are you thinking?" he pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Nothing."

"I know 'nothing'—I bet I can make you forget whatever is troubling you right now."

"Here?"

"Yes, here," he found her lips and pulled her closer.

Rey didn't deny the kiss—she wrapped her arms around his neck as he picked her up to place her in his lap. He kissed her fiercely, tasting every inch of her mouth and tongue. She felt breathless as he moved to her neck, tracing a small trail of kisses.

Right in that moment, she forgot about everything—all her doubts about Ben Solo were gone. She could have swore Kylo Ren never existed. She felt love, kindness and compassion within him. His lips were soft—they caressed the skin on her neck while the smell of his hair reached her lungs.

An unpleasant feeling suddenly attacked her—Rey wasn't certain Kylo would choose her over the First Order. She was hoping he would when the moment came, but the truth is she wasn't sure the thought would even cross his mind. She wanted him to come back with her and reunite with his mother, help the Resistance bring peace to the galaxy once again.

No matter how much she cared for Ben, she would support the Resistance no matter the cost. She didn't even know the man—Kylo's intentions with her were never clear. He promised her a new order for the galaxy—and yet, he had just returned from a military meeting with the sole purpose of destroying everyone she cared for.

"Ben?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"I'm waiting on you to fulfill your promise."

"What promise?"

"To share your mind with me."

He stopped kissing her, meeting her eyes at last. Confusion was painted all over his face—she saw some hints of fear too and it made her feel more curious about what he could be hiding.

"I never promised such thing."

She gave him a piercing gaze. Kylo was terrified at the idea—he had looked inside her mind many times before. He still hadn't found the answer he was searching for—it was clear to him by now that other means were necessary. But his mind? He was plagued with lies, deception and hate.

"I don't think we are ready for that."

"I think we are."

He sighed, a clear hint of surrender. "Right now?"

She nodded, and the Ben Solo that was there a minute ago was nowhere to be found now. A huge turmoil of emotions invaded Kylo's body—fear, shame, confusion, resentment and loneliness.

"Rey, I've—" he struggled to find the words, "I've done terrible things."

She knew that. She knew that all along—and still, she was hopeful. Ben Solo was buried deep inside Kylo Ren, but he wasn't gone—he _couldn't_ be gone.

"Trust me," she said and grabbed his hand.

He did trust her, he trusted her blindly—but the shame he carried weighed a lot more now. Kylo felt the room was narrower than before—he feared what would come after. He didn't want to give away his darkest secrets to her, what would Rey think of him?

Rey was anxious at the possibilities—she wasn't sure what would happen if she didn't like what she was about to witness. Could she leave him? Would he let her go? Of course not—she would become his prisoner as soon as she turned on him. Perhaps she was already a prisoner—she had allowed her feelings for him to grow to the point she wasn't strong enough to leave him behind. What would Finn think about her choices? _Hey Finn—I've been sleeping with Kylo Ren in a desperate attempt to redeem him and save you all. He gives me nice dresses so I will look appropriate when we finally tell the whole galaxy they will bow to us._

As insane as it seemed, that was her plan. Rey wanted Ben Solo back, bring him home. She knew it sounded crazy to hold onto a person whose choices seemed to be made—the problem was Kylo Ren's weren't. She felt it—the conflict was there, the pull to the Light haunted him day and night. Ben Solo was there every time he kissed her—he was full of compassion and love. Would she be the one to redeem him?

Fear shone through Kylo's eyes, chills roaming his body. He caught himself wishing for someone to burst into the room—but the corridor was empty, no one would interrupt them. He found her gaze—Force, she looked pretty that day. He tried to memorize every aspect of her face, in case that was the last time she looked at him that way.

She reached out.


End file.
